Say Cheese

I just got back from Target with the kids. One of the items on my list was tampons. I'm standing on that aisle looking for what I need when the three year old starts shouting, "I want some cheese sticks!" I told him that we could have a cheese stick when we got home but he started reaching for the tampon boxes on the shelves. "Cheese sticks! Cheese sticks!" he shouted. At this point, my eight year old (who knew they were NOT cheese sticks) is cracking up.

I grabbed what I needed and headed for check out. All the lines were packed but I selected one and when I put all my items on the conveyor belt the little one saw the Tampax again. "What is that?" he asked. I told him those were for mommy. "Mommy's special cheese sticks!" His older brother is now hysterical. The little one kept shouting, "I want Mommy's special cheese sticks!" while grabbing for the tampons. Did I mention that all the lines were packed? Yeah. I'm going to have to wear a disguise the next time I go to Target.

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

Charlie loved Christmas. Especially the lights. The lights on the tree. The lights on the street. Now that they are all gone he really misses them. Every morning when he comes downstairs he says, "Christmas all gone." It broke my heart for about a week but now I'm kind of used to it.

Yesterday in the car Charlie said, "Take shoes off?" I told him no, that it was really cold and he needed to leave them on. When we got home he was completely barefoot. I said, "Charlie, what happened?" He said, "It's a Christmas miracle!"

Albuterol Man, Where Are You?

I overheard Bobby playing with one of his Bionicles this afternoon. He was attacking it with these little glittery puffballs from the craft drawer and had the Bionicle saying, "Oh no! Somebody help! Get me my inhaler! My inhaler! Help!" Apparently the Bionicle was allergic to the puffballs? Anyway, it cracked me up.

Sex and Money

Yesterday while out and about running errands, that old '80's song, "Livin' in the Wild, Wild West" came on the radio. There is a line that says, "Gimme gimme safe sex". So Bobby says, "Mom, what's safe sex?" Great.

Now I am a mom who believes in answering honestly. He has already had the rundown about how babies are born and due to a trip to the pharmacy with him a few weeks ago, he knows that there is "special medicine mommy takes that keeps her from having more babies". He's an inquisitive one, this kid.

Anyhoo, I decided not to give him the full rundown on STD's, but since he already sort of knew about birth control I told him that it meant that you were careful when you had sex to make sure that you weren't going to have a baby. So then he wanted to go over the whole "How you make a baby" which is fine, but really? I just wanted to go to Target.

Thankfully, he was diverted by driving by our bank which brought up his favorite topic, money. He had to go through all the different ways you could acquire big bills. Forget one dollar bills, my kid likes fives, tens and twenties. It is his dream to have a fifty or one hundred dollar bill.

He always says stuff like, "If I saved up three weeks worth of allowance and added the money I already have I could go to the bank and get a ten and a five and still have some ones". I tell him that is correct. "If I saved up my allowance for two months and added the money I have I could get a twenty and a ten, if I had some change from my piggy bank". You see how this conversation was going. He could do this all day. I guess it's good that he understands money but can't we just talk about Star Wars again?

My Shawty Gets Low

Do you guys know that song "Low" by Flo Rida? It's on the radio all the time and I guess little Charlie likes it. Whenever he hears it he says, in a really deep voice, "Low, low, low, low". Except that he can't say "L", so it comes out, "Wo, wo, wo, wo". It's really hysterical.

Mo counting

As I was about to post the last entry I thought, "Does this sound like I'm being braggy mom"? But then I thought hell, it's my blog I'm going to post it. When I told my husband about our counting prodigy we were reminded of our older son when he was in preschool. He could count to twelve just fine. However, all of the teen numbers must have sounded the same because he would just make up something and add "teen" to it. It was really hysterical. "Eleven, twelve, moteen, noteen". He came up with a bunch but I think those two were my favorites.

Mommy Hears Some Counting

Despite needing to clean up the Easter mess which is still all over the house, I took Bobby (now seemingly healthy) to see Horton Hears a Who. I thought it was cute - I laughed out loud several times. But after sitting through Alvin and the Chipmunks (I swear I'm still recovering) I think my expectations have been lowered.

Charlie impressed me today. All winter, when I have changed Charlie's diaper I count the snaps as I resnap his pants. (In case you were wondering, toddler pants have eight snaps.) So I have basically counted to eight for almost all his diaper changes. This afternoon, I went to snap him back up and said, "One." And he said, "Two!" Wow! "What's next?" I asked. He got three, four and then said six instead of five. When I corrected him he got six, didn't say anything for seven but when I said "seven", he said eight! What a smartypants.

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was Charlie's 2nd birthday! I can't believe he is two! We had a small family party when we were in St. Augustine last week, complete with Elmo cake. I meant to post this yesterday but with older brother throwing up every half hour, it just didn't happen.

Two years ago, yesterday:

Bobby (not sure about this baby!) and Charlie:

Now I'm 2!:

Mrs. Clean

This is what a seven year old boy's room looks like if left to his own devices:









Please note the "trail" that has been created so that one can get from the door to the bed without breaking a leg.

So yesterday this is what I did:

>

I am hoping it will stay like this for more than a few days. However, in a week I am leaving on a girls trip to Mexico and The Husband will have the boys for four days so I am pretty sure it will be trashed by the time I get back.

Toddler Physics

Sorry for the lack of posts. A round of some kind of stomach thing had me laying down most of the weekend and then, oh boy, it was time to do the taxes. So it was a big weekend all around.



Anyway, I was printing out the completed taxes this morning and went to put shoes on the little one so we could go and run some errands. The front of his jeans were soaked. Wet from the waistband down to one knee. I sniffed. It was pee. Damn.



I did a quick check of the sofa but there were no wet marks. I took him to his room and discovered that the only thing wet was the front of his pants. His diaper was dry on the outside and pretty much on the inside. Shirt - dry. Sofa - dry. I checked the carpet, the train table - dry, dry.



This has happened before. Not so much with this one, but his older brother, when in diapers, seemed to have this happen every once in a while. I really don't get it. How in the world do they manage to pee either up out the top of the diaper or through a leg gap and not get pee on anything else? It defies logic.



After the magic poop incident I have to wonder: Are my children the only ones with magic bodily functions? Or is this everyone?

Now I Know My ABC's

Charlie is in love with ALL things Elmo. This is new for us as our older child never really cared for Elmo or Sesamee Street at all. He was a Bob the Builder man. But I digress.



For Christmas Charlie received this book:






Please note that it includes a "Companion DVD". That he is addicted too. He won't even watch regular Sesamee Street anymore. As soon as he sees Elmo or Cookie Monster (his second favorite) he starts screaming "GAA GEE". Which means turn the DVD on NOW. He wants to see the DVD not new episodes. He SCREAMS until you put it on. So usually I put it on. As soon as it ends he brings the DVD remote to me and yells, "AGAIN!" This is basically all that is on our TV if he is awake.

The DVD is about 15 minutes long and consists of back to back alphabet skits. So really it's 15 minutes of puppets singing, saying, jump roping and rapping the alphabet. It gets old. To be honest there is one segment that is sort of fun. There is a trio of pigs that are supposed to be like the Andrews Sisters, who do a big band boogie woogie version of the ABC's. It's so jazzy you just can't help but sing along! "A, Oink, B Oink, C Oink, D Oink, Oink Oink, EFG!" Maybe you have to hear it. I'm not saying I'm going to put it on my ipod or anything, I just like it.

National Treasure: Book of Fashion

So the 7 year old LOVES the movie National Treasure II: Book of Secrets. I took him a week or two ago since we had seen every kids movie that was out and I was NOT about to sit through Alvin and the Chipmunks twice.

Sometimes it's tough to tell if movies that are PG are going to be appropriate or not. I tend to err on the side of caution. My favorite site to check for PG movies I'm not sure about is Common Sense Media. They tell you every single thing that might be objectionable in a movie. So even though they recommend it for 8 and up I was able to determine that the things that were concerns were things I knew my kid could handle. Seriously, if you have kids - bookmark this site - I use it alot.

Anyway, we went and he loved it. As soon as it was over he said, "We HAVE to get that on DVD!" When we got home, he immediately created his own treasure map, loaded up his backpack and enlisted the neighbor children to help him search for treasure. It was so cute.

So, this weekend he wanted to see it again. I agreed since I really wanted to get out (and I really wanted some popcorn). And you know what - Abigail's (the character who plays Nicholas Cage's girlfriend) clothes are adorable! Seriously, go see the movie just to see her cute clothes. Her coats are beautiful! Of course she wears a different coat with every outfit but they were gorgeous. The dress and coat she wears to the Easter egg roll at the White House - I want them.

And on a completely unrelated note, I have to tell you that my 7 year old never says "Listen to this" or just "Listen". He always says, "Hear this". I never have the heart to correct him because it always sounds so cute - like he's a little town crier or something. Oh and the baby - he's been barfing. So, yeah.

All done

My younger son (22 mos.) has always stopped to pick up any little thing he finds on the rug. A small piece of thread. A leaf (my older son constantly brings them in from outside). A dustbunny (hey, I'm being honest here). After carefully picking up the item he brings it to me and says, "All done!" He knows it belongs in the trash but I think he is really trying to let me know that I need to vacuum more often.

Anyway, this afternoon he toddles up with a clenched fist and takes my hand and places something in it, announcing "All done!" "Oh, what do you have?" I ask. Surely an old Cheerio from under the sofa, a wood chip that brother carried in from the playground, another dust bunny? No, my friends. It was a piece of POOP! Yeah, that's right. I freaked too. It was about the size of a grape. When I realized what it was I jumped up and immediately checked his hands and then, god help me, smelled his breath (all clear, thank god). I couldn't find poop on anything! I checked every possible place he had been in the few minutes that we were upstairs. Where the hell did it come from? We may never know. I hate to think that I need to vacuum my house so badly that the dust bunnies have become so large that they have started, you know, pooping.

Please don't call Social Services on me. A few minutes before the incident I changed a dirty diaper. I think that the item in question must have fallen out of the diaper during clean up. Well, that's the best explantion I have anyway. I know. Ew.

He's Back!

The Husband returned Friday afternoon which we were all grateful for, mainly because we were all ready for some real food. The Husband did not disappoint. Friday night we had tuna medallions in a red wine reduction with white bean paste. It was heavenly. Last night he made french onion soup - it was so rich we just had bread with it and that was it. So good!

I managed to escape yesterday to get a much needed haircut/highlights - way overdue - and a mani/pedi. Then today I went to a matinee of There Will Be Blood. It was really good. Daniel Day-Lewis should walk away with Oscar - he was amazing. Also, in the Where Are They Now files, his fake brother was played by the creepy bartender who becomes Daryl Hannah's husband in Steel Magnolias. I don't remember his actual name but you probably don't either so that description should be OK.

So I'm ready to kick off another crazy week. Tomorrow the baby and I visit the preschool I am hoping to get him into in the fall and later in the week we start swimming lessons. Charlie absolutely LOVES the water so he is going to love them. What may not be getting love is my extremely white body. I'm worried I may glow under those flourescent pool lights.

Blow me

Things have been nuts this week with my husband out of town. I don't think he has been gone more than one night since the little one was born so it's been a loooong week. Did I mention it rained - yeah, that helps the time pass.

Anyway, my youngest, Charlie will be two in March and over the last two weeks he has just gotten..... older! He has grown taller (all his pants are starting to look short), he has tried a ton of new foods (other than the Cheerios, yogurt and buttered toast diet he has been subsisting on), and has also become more stubborn (hello two!). I pulled out all the stops tonight and made hot dogs. The Husband does all the cooking and when he is not here we usually just eat out but with the rain and after eating out all week I just wasn't up to it so - hot dogs it was. Charlie, who has NEVER eaten any meat, ate a whole hot dog! I wasn't even planning on giving him one but he clearly wanted one so we tried it. And yes, I cut it up super small so he wouldn't choke. I know that this is not exciting news but maybe he will actually gain some weight now. Last weigh in was 21 lbs 3oz. I know.

All of this to tell you that it took him FOREVER to eat the thing because he insists that everyone blow on every piece of his food, one bite at a time, before he eats it. EVERYONE. So, he picks up a bite, blows on it, holds it out to me, I blow on it, then holds it out to brother who is paying no attention, so I have to say, "Bobby, blow" and he blows on it, and THEN Charlie can eat the bite. Since I cut the hot dog into about 35 pieces dinner lasted about 4 hours. We actually saved a little time since my husband wasn't here. What really cracked me up is that we are all so used to doing this at every meal that when I say, "Bobby, blow" he doesn't even look up - he just blows towards the high chair. I know this is all so exciting that you're wondering what you could do to be lucky enough to have dinner here. It's a thrill a minute folks.

Peek 'n Pay

It is absolutely pouring here today. The oldest is out of school for teacher workdays and of course I picked today to schedule four different appointments.

First up - a follow up visit to the ENT for baby boy who had tubes put in his ears a few weeks ago. By the time we all got into the office we were soaked - I think I got greedy trying to bring my Venti Caramel Apple Spice in along with two kids, an umbrella and a ginormous diaper bag but - live and learn. The problem came AFTER the appointment. I am trying to fish for my wallet in said bag, prop the baby on my other hip and keep him out of reach of my drink while keeping an eye on the oldest who is digging in the prize box. I should tell you that I was wearing this shawl collar sweater from Banana Republic but in a deep green color.
http://www.bananarepublic.com/browse/product.do?cid=26503&pid=526767

After talking with the receptionist, setting up another appointment and nodding another goodbye to the doctor I realize that the baby has pulled the edge of the sweater back COMPLETELY exposing my right boob (which isn't even the big one). Could I get him to let go of the sweater? Of course not - he went all two year old on me and started shrieking as if exposing my boob to this office was his one joy in the world. So to the grinning dad in reception: The reason your kid fell off of that chair was 'cause you were looking at my boob. Nice parenting.

I'll let you know later if the folks at the dentist's office got a peek.

They DO make Sunday

When I was a little girl I always wanted those days of the week underpants but never got them. The idea of labeled underwear TOTALLY appealed to me. So about two weeks ago I was strolling through Gymboree checkin' out their big post-holiday sale for the boys. What do I find? Days of the week underpants - for boys! I had never seen them for boys before. Well, since the baby is still is diapers I grabbed a pack for the 7 year old. I wasn't sure if he would like them as much as I did but I didn't care. Well, apparently OCD is genetic because he loves them. In fact, he doesn't want to wear any of his other underwear. And of course it all has to be worn on the correct day.

This has not been a problem until tonight when he went to put on his Wednesdays for tomorrow. They were still in the hamper. (How is this possible? I swear I have done at least 420 loads of laundry since last Wednesday. What DO I do all day?) So there was a big scene and if he had handled it differently I might have done a special load tonight but instead he made some rude remarks about my inability to do my job..... Yeah. So he's sportin' dinosaur undies tomorrow. And he's gonna have to like it. And I guess I'll be doing some laundry.