Tuesday, January 29, 2008

All done

My younger son (22 mos.) has always stopped to pick up any little thing he finds on the rug. A small piece of thread. A leaf (my older son constantly brings them in from outside). A dustbunny (hey, I'm being honest here). After carefully picking up the item he brings it to me and says, "All done!" He knows it belongs in the trash but I think he is really trying to let me know that I need to vacuum more often.

Anyway, this afternoon he toddles up with a clenched fist and takes my hand and places something in it, announcing "All done!" "Oh, what do you have?" I ask. Surely an old Cheerio from under the sofa, a wood chip that brother carried in from the playground, another dust bunny? No, my friends. It was a piece of POOP! Yeah, that's right. I freaked too. It was about the size of a grape. When I realized what it was I jumped up and immediately checked his hands and then, god help me, smelled his breath (all clear, thank god). I couldn't find poop on anything! I checked every possible place he had been in the few minutes that we were upstairs. Where the hell did it come from? We may never know. I hate to think that I need to vacuum my house so badly that the dust bunnies have become so large that they have started, you know, pooping.

Please don't call Social Services on me. A few minutes before the incident I changed a dirty diaper. I think that the item in question must have fallen out of the diaper during clean up. Well, that's the best explantion I have anyway. I know. Ew.

5 comments:

The (Increasingly Grateful) Husband said...

Holy Crap! I know I'm always coming home and saying that my colleagues gave me shit at work today, but I never mean it literally.

What DO you do all day?

Steel Magnolia said...

you are hilarious! I'm adding you to my list. Come on over...

Happy Homemaker said...

Oh dear lord! You had me laughing out loud with the visual of you smelling his breath! Too funny! I'm sure my dust bunnies are big enough to poop, too!

Thanks so much for leaving a comment! Davis is almost 22 months old. I'm so happy to have found your blog!

Heather at Grace303 said...

Oh my gosh, that is absolutely hilarious!

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Oh Lord. The SAME thing happened to me the other day - I was too lazy to go upstairs to the changing table, so I changed my daughter's diaper on the kitchen floor. I'm washing my hands after disposing of said poop when all of a sudden she taps my leg and said, "All done Mommy!" and I'm all "all done what, honey?" Long story short, she HANDED ME A POOP!

I mean, it was small and all and it must have just rolled out of the diaper but LORD ALMIGHTY I was grossed out.